Life hacks that aren’t stupid

Have you ever clicked on one of those buzzfeed-esque articles that promised to provide you with everyday solutions that would somehow change your life? With the title “271 Life Hacks That Will Change Your World,” or something like that? I bet you clicked on it hoping to uncover some clever nuggets of innovation that would really change your life. I certainly did. And was utterly disappointed.

Because of the Internet’s epic failure to provide real life hacks that will actually make a difference in your day (it’s okay Internet, you were so close), I have taken it upon myself to compile a short list of hacks that aren’t stupid. Here you go.


1. Contact solution mascara hack
mascara hack

When your tube of mascara appears to be on its last leg, add a drop or two of contact solution to the tube. You will easily get another month out of it.


2. Sooth burns with toothpaste
toothpaste hack

If you are chronically clumsy and unaware  of the location of your extremities most of the time, then this life hack will probably change your life. I am chronically clumsy and I am endorsing this life hack. The next time you burn yourself on the frying pan, iron, oven, flame thrower, etc., immediately run cold water over your burn (to stop the heat from continuing to burn your flesh), and apply toothpaste. Works best with the really chalky white kinds. YOU’RE WELCOME.


3. Grind lemons in the garbage disposal
lemon

I did this two days ago and my disposal still emits a lemony aroma every time I run it. Which is a lot.


4. Use a step trash can
trash can
Look ma, no hands!  I really dislike touching my hands to a trashy trashcanny lid every time I have to dispose of something. Finally, after some reluctance and dying to himself, my sweet husband went out into the cold and bought us one. Now he doesn’t understand why people don’t have them. There may be a host of reasons you don’t own one yet. Maybe your roommates have always shelled out for the trashcan, maybe you’ve just never seen the use in them, maybe you were raised by wolves, maybe you should just go out and buy a trashcan with a foot pedal already.


5. Use a bowl to amplify the sound of your phone
iphone hack bowl
I did this just today!

These are all hacks that I have employed within the past week. That’s how useful they are. You know what’s not useful? Hacks that don’t work, and hacks that are stupid.

Now for an abridged list of terrible hacks that semi-inspired this post.

I. Efficient sandwich hack
bologna hack
YOU ARE TWENTY-FOUR YEARS OLD. STOP EATING BOLOGNA AND GO TO A BUTCHER SHOP. Ron Swanson would not be amused by this hack.

II. Remember who borrowed your stuff hack
borrowing friends hack
Or don’t remember. Because that’s awkward. And they’re probably not your friend anymore.

III. Organize Everything hack
Life hacks that aren't stupid- organization hack
Ain’t nobody got time for that! Or money! Are you people on drugs?! That would be understandable, considering that drug dealing is the only feasible way to support such a financially debilitating crafting habit.

Help the Internet out. Let me know if you come across any real life useful hacks!

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4 thoughts on “Life hacks that aren’t stupid

  1. Haha this is so good!!!! I love ALL THE LIFE HACKS… except the mascara one, because I don’t typically wear mascara. But then again saving mascara means we do not need to buy more, so I LOVE THAT ONE TOO!!

  2. I’m too poor for a steel step trashcan. seriously, $50 at Wal-Mart??? WHY???!!!! It’s a garbage can, not the holy grail… I don’t understand why it’s so expensive when it’s just a metal trash receptacle.

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