Have you ever clicked on one of those buzzfeed-esque articles that promised to provide you with everyday solutions that would somehow change your life? With the title “271 Life Hacks That Will Change Your World,” or something like that? I bet you clicked on it hoping to uncover some clever nuggets of innovation that would really change your life. I certainly did. And was utterly disappointed.
Because of the Internet’s epic failure to provide real life hacks that will actually make a difference in your day (it’s okay Internet, you were so close), I have taken it upon myself to compile a short list of hacks that aren’t stupid. Here you go.
2. Sooth burns with toothpaste
If you are chronically clumsy and unaware of the location of your extremities most of the time, then this life hack will probably change your life. I am chronically clumsy and I am endorsing this life hack. The next time you burn yourself on the frying pan, iron, oven, flame thrower, etc., immediately run cold water over your burn (to stop the heat from continuing to burn your flesh), and apply toothpaste. Works best with the really chalky white kinds. YOU’RE WELCOME.
3. Grind lemons in the garbage disposal
I did this two days ago and my disposal still emits a lemony aroma every time I run it. Which is a lot.
4. Use a step trash can
Look ma, no hands! I really dislike touching my hands to a trashy trashcanny lid every time I have to dispose of something. Finally, after some reluctance and dying to himself, my sweet husband went out into the cold and bought us one. Now he doesn’t understand why people don’t have them. There may be a host of reasons you don’t own one yet. Maybe your roommates have always shelled out for the trashcan, maybe you’ve just never seen the use in them, maybe you were raised by wolves, maybe you should just go out and buy a trashcan with a foot pedal already.
5. Use a bowl to amplify the sound of your phone
I did this just today!
These are all hacks that I have employed within the past week. That’s how useful they are. You know what’s not useful? Hacks that don’t work, and hacks that are stupid.
Now for an abridged list of terrible hacks that semi-inspired this post.
III. Organize Everything hack
Ain’t nobody got time for that! Or money! Are you people on drugs?! That would be understandable, considering that drug dealing is the only feasible way to support such a financially debilitating crafting habit.
Help the Internet out. Let me know if you come across any real life useful hacks!